WHO SITS ON YOUR SHOULDER?

As children, there are authority figures we trust: parents, teachers, aunts, uncles and perhaps best friends. When we don’t yet know who we are, and one of these members of our lives makes a negative statement, offers a negative appraisal, that we stupid or awkward or ugly or “you’ll never amount to much”, it could impact our lives for decades.

How often have we seen handsome men or beautiful women absolutely unaware of the impact they have? Perhaps someone in their youth told them they were ugly. Can you remember the last time you watched a truly bright person look amazed at what they have accomplished?

I have learned we have people sitting on our shoulders. They could be screaming in our ears for decades. Decades! Yes! A father sitting on a son’s shoulder saying, “I could have painted that picture better than you.” A second grade teacher sitting on your shoulder saying, “You’re stupid; you won’t go far.” Or, a family priest discovering your privates; he sits on your shoulder saying, “You’re worthless.”

It’s a job. It’s a job to learn to scream louder that the voices on your shoulder. Identify the person or persons sending the negative message. Look them in the eye, so to speak, and say I’m okay. I’m worthy. I will identify who I am. I take away your power. I am strong. I know who I am. And, do not invest in anyone who wants to feed those ancient negative voices.