SURRENDER TO LIFE'S FLOW

When New Yorkers, like me, are asked why we push forward, knocking all obstacles out of our way, we say, It’s in the water. We can’t help ourselves; we’re rushing to the top. No one tells us that the journey is the joy; no one tells us that the top is not the genuine goal. Some get the message along the way, most turn 65 and wonder what life is all about. As the Germans would say, schade, shame. What a waste.

I’ve come across a word that explains my point: FLOW. That is, letting the universe open doors for us. Stay awake to opportunity. The doors to your future are there.

When I was 28, I returned from nine months in Europe and wanted desperately to work in the fashion industry. I had no training. A head hunter sent me on an interview with a company that made men’s and boy’s sportswear in Philadelphia. Philadelphia?! Is there life outside of New York City? The VP who interviewed me said they had had no success with men and women with fashion training. He liked me and hired me. FLOW. I put my passion out there, and somehow, the universe made it happen.

Twelve years later, I quit. I wanted to see the world on someone else’s dime. I wanted to work internationally. I went on an interview, and was hired. The job? Designing men’s sportswear in New York City, and having it manufactured in Asia. FLOW. I worked in Taipei, Hong Kong, Seoul, Singapore, Delhi and Madras. I saw the world on an expense account.

Seven years later, at the age of fifty, I had had enough. No more travel. No more waiting for flights to take off. What to do at the age of fifty?

I moved to Houston. I joined an outdoor group. Made friends. It was suggested I join a gay and lesbian business group. I did. John Kellett, a retired Exxon executive, suggested I come to one of his meetings at the First Unitarian Universalist Church. A teenager was going to talk about growing up gay in Houston. FLOW. A door opened, and I did not know it at the time. The young man who spoke was one of six teenagers asking the church for a space to meet weekly. I was asked to attend. Two years later, I had established myself as a man who helped teenagers. I was encouraged to go back to school and get a master’s in counseling. FLOW. A crossroads.

Two years earlier, I did not know what a fifty-year-old could reinvent himself as. The youth were put in my path. The path had taken me to the University of Houston. My eyes opened slowly to the new journey. I went on to get a Doctorate. Now what?

It felt right to move to Fort Lauderdale, where I had family. At fifty-seven, I opened my own office. I had never been in business for myself. This was a leap. I trusted FLOW. I trusted this was my path. I became a family therapist (that was my specialty in graduate school). For the next twenty years, I made a difference. I stopped because I was burned out.

I started writing my memoir, Sunny Boy. At the time, it seemed like a one-off. But FLOW intervened. I became a writer. It happened gradually. First, I wrote a play for an acting group. Then poetry. A novella led to novels. My friend Karen said the latest novel should be turned into a screenplay. FLOW. Now I’m studying screenplay writing. I trust the universe has me on the right path (at eighty-two).

Surrender to life’s flow.